What happened to the jokes?
Mar 17, 2010 at 3:32am
I remember there was once such a thread... since it seems to be lost, I am starting a new one!
I start with the CIA
CIA: Computer Industry Acronyms
CD-ROM: Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in Months
PCMCIA: People Can’t Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms
ISDN: It Still Does Nothing
SCSI: System Can’t See It
MIPS: Meaningless Indication of Processor Speed
DOS: Defunct Operating System
WINDOWS: Will Install Needless Data On Whole System
OS/2: Obsolete Soon, Too
PnP: Plug and Pray
APPLE: Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity
IBM: I Blame Microsoft
MICROSOFT: Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only Fools Teenagers
COBOL: Completely Obsolete Business Oriented Language
LISP: Lots of Insipid and Stupid Parentheses
MACINTOSH: Most Applications Crash; If Not, The Operating System Hangs
AAAAA: American Association Against Acronym Abuse.
WYSIWYMGIYRRLAAGW: What You See Is What You Might Get If You’re Really Really Lucky And All Goes Well.
I start with the CIA
CIA: Computer Industry Acronyms
CD-ROM: Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in Months
PCMCIA: People Can’t Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms
ISDN: It Still Does Nothing
SCSI: System Can’t See It
MIPS: Meaningless Indication of Processor Speed
DOS: Defunct Operating System
WINDOWS: Will Install Needless Data On Whole System
OS/2: Obsolete Soon, Too
PnP: Plug and Pray
APPLE: Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity
IBM: I Blame Microsoft
MICROSOFT: Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only Fools Teenagers
COBOL: Completely Obsolete Business Oriented Language
LISP: Lots of Insipid and Stupid Parentheses
MACINTOSH: Most Applications Crash; If Not, The Operating System Hangs
AAAAA: American Association Against Acronym Abuse.
WYSIWYMGIYRRLAAGW: What You See Is What You Might Get If You’re Really Really Lucky And All Goes Well.
Mar 17, 2010 at 3:36am
Lol; some of those were pretty good, especially the last one, because it's true. Virtually every "WYSIWYG" editor is really a "WYSIWYMGIYRRLAAGW" editor >:(
Mar 17, 2010 at 4:06am
http://www.sucs.swan.ac.uk/~cmckenna/humour/computer/god.html
http://www.devtopics.com/best-programming-jokes/
http://atom.smasher.org/error/gallery/
http://rinkworks.com/stupid/cs_programming.shtml
http://www.fullduplex.org/humor/2006/10/how-to-shoot-yourself-in-the-foot-in-any-programming-language/
those are all links to some of the best coding jokes I have found. The last two should be avoided while drinking soda/coffee :P
http://www.devtopics.com/best-programming-jokes/
http://atom.smasher.org/error/gallery/
http://rinkworks.com/stupid/cs_programming.shtml
http://www.fullduplex.org/humor/2006/10/how-to-shoot-yourself-in-the-foot-in-any-programming-language/
those are all links to some of the best coding jokes I have found. The last two should be avoided while drinking soda/coffee :P
Last edited on Mar 17, 2010 at 4:07am
Mar 17, 2010 at 4:29am
The programmer compiled an array of reasons as to why he can't find a girlfriend with a good <HEAD> on her <BODY>, reason 0 being that he has limited cache.
So often he searches his memory to recall connecting to the TCP/IP tunnel of his last girlfriend -- sometimes even without a secure socket.
His last girlfriend always complained about his lack of comments. He fumed, "I hate commenting!"
Realizing it was a program requirement, he told her she had nice bits.
This resulted in a Syntax Error.
Now she demanded a massage but this was rejected as "Feature Creep."
He smacked her back-end and shouted, "Who's your parent node?!"
He scanned for open ports. He attempted to install a backdoor worm but her response was 403.
While his data uploaded into her input device, she considered terminating the process. But instead she initiated a Do While loop where she recalled a previous boyfriend with a larger pointer.
To expedite the routine routine, she screamed, "Hack into my system! Hack deep into my system! You're 1337, baby!"
This caused his stack to overflow and he shot his GUI on her interface
So often he searches his memory to recall connecting to the TCP/IP tunnel of his last girlfriend -- sometimes even without a secure socket.
His last girlfriend always complained about his lack of comments. He fumed, "I hate commenting!"
Realizing it was a program requirement, he told her she had nice bits.
This resulted in a Syntax Error.
Now she demanded a massage but this was rejected as "Feature Creep."
He smacked her back-end and shouted, "Who's your parent node?!"
He scanned for open ports. He attempted to install a backdoor worm but her response was 403.
While his data uploaded into her input device, she considered terminating the process. But instead she initiated a Do While loop where she recalled a previous boyfriend with a larger pointer.
To expedite the routine routine, she screamed, "Hack into my system! Hack deep into my system! You're 1337, baby!"
This caused his stack to overflow and he shot his GUI on her interface
Mar 17, 2010 at 5:35am
This last scenario is impossible. No Programmer is capable of finding a gf :B
Mar 17, 2010 at 8:50am
what a pity:P...
c++ = your gf... ever cheated with ur IDE?...
c++ = your gf... ever cheated with ur IDE?...
Last edited on Mar 17, 2010 at 8:51am
Mar 17, 2010 at 9:02am
even if my c++ gf did cheat with my IDE, its ok because I can kill the IDE and not get in any trouble for it :P
Mar 17, 2010 at 9:04pm| Seraphimsan wrote: |
|---|
| No Programmer is capable of finding a gf |
| firedracp wrote: |
|---|
| ****...so true... |
:(
Mar 17, 2010 at 9:09pm
Don't feel bad chris, you'll always have the best god damn girlfriend you can ever ask for. She always does exactly what you tell her to do, even to a fault. She's smart, witty, funny, and loves playing videogames, she also loves it when you play arround with I/O ports, so long as you don't touch the wrong cable. Yup, the computer is the best girlfriend a programmer could ever ask for. hell, I have 3 of them and not a single one of them gets jealous of the others. Especially not the one I put in the kitchen. where she will stay, just like she belongs.
Mar 17, 2010 at 9:14pm| Seraphimsan wrote: |
|---|
| No Programmer is capable of finding a gf :B |
Really? I've not had any problems... and my wife loves video games :)...
Mar 17, 2010 at 9:19pm| Return 0 wrote: |
|---|
| Really? I've not had any problems |
Yea to be perfectly honest, neither have I xD. My only real problem is keeping one o.o
Last edited on Mar 17, 2010 at 9:20pm
Mar 18, 2010 at 4:21am
Wtf is this crap then? I can't find ANY girls that like video games and/or programming around my age...I call BS!
Mar 18, 2010 at 4:39am
lol, if your in highschool hang arround the marching band kids, you'll likely find at least one girl gamer. My first love was a major gamer, and a programmer..but I got her into that. :P
If you're in college: Look to the CS department. I'm sure it's not a total sausage fest.
If your in the workforce....well I'm sorry but sucks for you, most girls grow out of it by then XD
If you're in college: Look to the CS department. I'm sure it's not a total sausage fest.
If your in the workforce....well I'm sorry but sucks for you, most girls grow out of it by then XD
Mar 18, 2010 at 8:27am
*chrm*... to get back to joke topics. In the acronym list is missing:
MCSE - (Minesweeper Consultant and Solitaire Expert)
And while we speak of it.. Everyone knows: "Consultant = Confuse + Insult"
Ciao, Imi.
PS: I am married :-P
MCSE - (Minesweeper Consultant and Solitaire Expert)
And while we speak of it.. Everyone knows: "Consultant = Confuse + Insult"
Ciao, Imi.
PS: I am married :-P
Mar 18, 2010 at 11:43pm
The Novice programmer looks at his finished code and believes it to be perfect. The Average programmer sees his finished code as a work with bugs to fix. The Master programmer knows that no code is without bugs, but always looks to repair them.
Not really a joke but one of my favorite coding quotes.
Not really a joke but one of my favorite coding quotes.
Mar 19, 2010 at 12:25am
Thus starts the coders quest: The search for the Bug Free code (rumored to be just a legend)